so depressed about my personal life.
which leads me to over eat and this is the most depressed i've been my whole life and i don't know how much i can take i feel like i'm going to fall a part for good.
I've cried everyday for over a month now. I'm not sure if things will get better. Sometimes things they get worst before they get better. and I wonder if there is still worst to come before things get better. I can't think about that right now. I need to focus all my attention on my weight and stuff.
okay so i'm eating less and working out more. but it sucks because if i have a day that i eat what i want then i gain like 1lb or .5lb
i feel like right now the only control i have over my life is my weight loss. I want my loss to mirror my life, if i can lose this weight then i can do other things in my life that i also want to do.
it sucks that when u make a small mistake and you don't know how much it's going to affect u'r life. right now i feel like life really sucks.
ok back to my weight i need to get down to 140lbs and i will be happy. i'm like 176lbs need to get to 140lbs...... 37lbs to lose.
nov 24-dec 31st 5 weeks to lose about 14lbs.
then i have all of jan to lose 13lbs and that makes a total of 27lbs
then feb 1=29 to lose the last 10lbs and i don't really have much more tolerance for trying after this march 1st is the end of all this. i'm so tried and i'm sick of waiting to be the person i want to be.
so anyways this is my powering through until march 1st 2009 and then maybe the summer i will wear that swim suit i always wanted to.
1 comment:
Things will get better in time. Although it seems like the end of the world, it will get better in no time. Don't give up and you will be skinny in no time at all!
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